Excuse me, could you dance salsa with my friend?

Posted on over 9 years ago

It is not even funny how many times this has happened to me (and probably to most of you out there). It was funnier, that when I brought up this story jokingly to some ladies present at practice, most of them didn't realize that some (most?) guys disliked it.Now, I don't mind dancing with anyone - don't get me wrong. I do my 'volunteer' work to make sure everyone is dancing at a salsa club. Whether you are new to the scene or just a regular, you will be dancing. However, for some reason, some girls believe that its OUR job to dance with whoever they decide, even if they themselves are complete strangers to us and to the scene. There have been numerous times where I would be at a club, and notice a female approaching (of course I always do). I see her walking towards me, and I think to myself: "Cool, she wants a dance! Let me get ready..". But then, only to be disappointed by the fact that she says: "Hey, could you dance with my friend?". Maybe I'll get the more 'political' version: "Hey, this is my friend <XYZ>, you guys should dance!". In the very worst case, I get female's boyfriend coming up to me telling me that their girlfriend wants me to dance with them. I then politely ask: "Well, why doesn't she ask herself?" Is it because I prefer assertive women? I don't know. Now, why do I dislike this general scenario? Well, the whole thing feels like I'm going to Best Buy to buy a TV, but when I get home and open up the box - I find a toaster. It feels like a blind salsa-dance-date. First of all, the person setting the 'dance-date' and playing salsa matchmaker is a stranger to me. And of course, add the fact that the person I'm being setup with is also a stranger that might or might not want to dance with me (and is being forced by her extroverted friend). Maybe I think that if anyone was really interested in dancing with me, they themselves would be the one asking and not sending a messenger. I guess I find it as a double standard as well. I'm not sure I have seen many guys go up to a lady and say - "Hey, you should dance with my friend." I believe that most ladies would find it the same way I do. All of us guys have to muster up the courage (sometimes even have a couple of drinks) in order to ask some ladies to dance. Why? Because that is the set protocol (not that I agree with it 100%). Now why can those ladies be the ones with courage to ask as well? They could be shy - but then I remember that most guys are still shy, and they still have to go through all the fear of rejection and still give it a try.Maybe it is late night and I'm not making a valid point in explaining to the ladies why some men dislike this. I'll try to 'Role Play', and maybe Rumnet should write another 'DanceCraft ' episode on this. For example, what if I went up to a lady waiting for a dance and imagine a great song just started playing. She might become excited that I'm actually approaching her THINKING that I will ask her to dance. Who knows, maybe she was waiting for me to ask her the whole night and giving me that googly-eyed-look (not that it happens ;-) ). But what if instead, I go up to her and say: "Hi, could you dance with my friend?". Hmmmm... let me rephrase that in Anthony interpretation: "Hi, I came over here, and I know you might think I'm going to ask you, but I'm not really interested in dancing with you tonight as you originally assumed... however, I would like you to do me a free favor and sacrifice this song and dance with my beginner friend who might or might not care if he dances with you or not. I think you would enjoy it very much, even though I didn't even ask your name or talked to you briefly before asking you to do this. Anyway, he is OVER there (pointing to someone on the OTHER side of the room). Oh, I may have to add that you might have to do the walking to get to him cause he sure isn't going to come here. Oh - and by the way: Thanks." It feels like a bait and switch .
Now, with some of that said (I guess I vented), how many of the guys out there agree or disagree? Try the forums for your comments.

What Do You Think?